32 Quotes & Sayings By Helen Fisher

In her book, The Anatomy of Love, Helen Fisher explores the bond that develops between people that is based not on biology but on mutual attraction. In other words, love is a learned behavior. This may be a bit of a surprise to many people who think that love is an emotion or a feeling. However, for lovers to succeed at their relationship, they need to learn how to make a connection with one another.

1
Men with high baseline levels of testosterone marry less frequently, have more adulterous affairs, commit more spousal abuse, and divorce more often. Helen Fisher
2
If two very different people pool their DNA, they'll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills. Helen Fisher
3
Both sexes like the exercise and challenge of sports, but for men it's also a basic display behavior for impressing and winning a mate. Helen Fisher
4
Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival. Helen Fisher
5
Men have a psychological need to show off their courage and strength. When he sees you talking to another guy, that instinct kicks in and he jumps to protect you and prove he's worthy of your love. Helen Fisher
6
Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don't grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. Helen Fisher
7
A lot of people head into courtship looking for fireworks. Don't pass up a chance by dumping someone after a first date because you don't feel the fireworks. The fireworks can happen at any time and be maintained. Helen Fisher
8
There's a lot of talk about the positive aspects of love. We as a society downplay the danger, the anxiety, and the disappointment. We romanticize romance. Helen Fisher
9
A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you'd be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man. Helen Fisher
10
In America, we are demanding everything from our marriage. Helen Fisher
11
Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage. Helen Fisher
12
Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others. Helen Fisher
13
Jealousy can even be good for love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship. Helen Fisher
14
Natural beauty really entices men. They will tell you this time and time again, and studies consistently prove it. Helen Fisher
15
Games are the way we keep romance alive. They're based in human hardwiring. Playing hard-to-get or leaving a little to the imagination allows the woman to be wooed and appreciated and the man to be challenged and intrigued. Helen Fisher
16
You can get into a very fancy car and know everything about the engine, but when you drive in that car, you feel that rush. In the same way, I think the more you know about love, the more you can enjoy it. And knowing about your personality type, who you are and what kind of person you're dealing with gives you a great leg up. Helen Fisher
17
A Rolex watch or an expensive car are the things guys often use to show status, wealth, and basic desirability. Helen Fisher
18
In general, men are wired to notice obvious signs that convey interest in mating - a warm smile, for example - and ignore other subtleties, like if your lipstick is faded. Helen Fisher
19
Romantic love is an addiction. Helen Fisher
20
When you're in the throes of this romantic love, it's overwhelming - you're out of control, you're irrational, you're going to the gym at 6 A.M. every day - Why? Because she's there. Helen Fisher
21
Blushing is thought to be linked to increased levels of norepinephrine in the brain, which may be associated with romantic feelings. It signals that we are interested and excited, which is attractive to men. Helen Fisher
22
The reason you take antidepressants is to feel calm. And romantic love is not calm - it's elation, it's mood swings, and you're killing all that when you take the drug. Helen Fisher
23
Romantic love allows you to focus mating energy. Attachment sustains that relationship as long as necessary to raise your baby. Helen Fisher
24
Any kind of novelty or excitement drives up dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is associated with romantic love. Helen Fisher
25
I've always maintained that men were more romantic than women. Helen Fisher
26
I think romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy on just one individual at a time, thereby conserving mating time and energy. Helen Fisher
27
Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They've never found a society that did not have it. Helen Fisher
28
Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to - at best - three years. Helen Fisher
29
People compose poetry, novels, sitcoms - for love. Helen Fisher
30
When you fight, anger drives up testosterone in both men and women. Helen Fisher
31
Until recently, we regarded love as supernatural. We were willing to study the brain chemistry of fear and depression and anger but not love. Helen Fisher